Pina Bausch. Yep. I bet most of you have never heard of her. That's okay. But she's a genius. She does, with dance, what I want my writing to do. That's why I took the class. She's been accused of cruelty and slowness. Proper accusations. Her best pieces are 3+ hours. But the cruelty unrolls slowly.

A man throws a woman to the ground. She gets up. A man throws a woman to the ground. She gets up. A man throws a woman to the ground. She gets up. A man throws a woman to the ground. She gets up.

I guess it doesn't translate well. The piece was long and cruel. But this scene in Cafe Muller reminds me of Deleuze and Guattari's notion of 'repetition with a difference.' Now I'm not getting philosophical on your ass. I'm just saying that repetition does something, something past shocking or pleasing us. It gets under the skin. It takes away agency. You see, when I write floor floor floor floor, something happens. The word matters more than the person that wrote it. You fixate on 'floor,' not the way I want you to see the floor. I know this is a bad example... I just don't know how to explain... Anyway. This class was the best one I've ever taken. Don't let the meandering notes fools you. I fucking dug this class.

Carnations directed by Pina Bausch