Thud: My fans come from all over the world! They love me, and I would just like to say to you all that I love you too. At least all the ladies. The guys just wish they were me. Now that's wack!

Thud Nugget was the star of the show. I should have known. He was inane, useless, and mildly retarded--just the sort of freak that an audience loves. I've got no problem with retards. Really. That's what the internet is for. It's a McDonald's playground for retards... (and don't give me shit about using the word "retard"... if you had seen the show, you would know exactly why my word choice is appropriate).

I know Thud Nugget was nessecary. He was a much-needed comic element. But I could not help but be dissapointed that we didn't porform Nandovee instead. Now that's a retard I can sink my teeth into. Compare these lines:

If you were a superhero, what kind of superpower would you have?

Nandovee: My superpower would be like a permanant lube on my stogey so I can slippery slide into wonder woman's @!#$ of truth.

Does your face fit you?

Thud Nugget: That's a stupid question. I can't be more happy with how I look, and all the ladies are even happier... I look in the mirror and I say, is this the Thud Nugget? Yes, this is the Thud Nugget.

If you could slip into another skin, who or what would you choose?

Nandovee: I'd slip into a lambskin and bust up on some sheeps, you know.

Describe your last doctor's or dentist's visit.

Thud Nugget: No matter how convincing my argument, my doctor would NOT believe that I have SARS... What a fucking poser! He probably failed med school. I don't trust doctors. And I hate dentists. Them's a cheating lying sonsabitches. Floss my ass!

What kind of impression do you make on strangers?

Nandovee: I think strangers don't know about Pops, they think I'm just another fucking gangbanger who's all "@!#$ this, @!#$ that, blah blah." They think I'm about hatin cuz of the way I talk. They write me off without even knowing me. My impression is that they don't get an impression of Pops they don't want to get to know. I just want to get to know them long enough to give them a stink mustache.

Bedtime rituals?

Thud Nugget: Thud Nugget sleeps the only one way: belly down, ass up. Wearing boxers only.

What do you produce in terms of product and waste?

Nandovee: Pops produces the gift of niggin' it. He gets up in a lady anal cherry and bust her so good she bend down and take it on the chin. As for waste, only thing Pops waste is a fat nigger bitch with sideburns.

What do you consume? What consumes you?

Thud Nugget: Thud Nugget consumes whatever the $*#& he wants! Hamburgers, french fries, steak, ham, cheese, eggs, anything with grease and fat! And nuggets, of course! I can't stand vegetables, especially mushrooms. That stuff's WACK! It's like, okay, here's this fungi that could grow on your toe, but no I'm gonna eat it? Forget it! Thud Nugget only eats REAL food.

Do you see what I mean. Thud Nugget's humor is safe, Nandovee's isn't. In fact, we weren't quite sure what to make of our little sheep-fucker. Well, I will always wish we'd performed Nandovee. I think it would have been a risky, but definately more gratifying.