I know it's
not funny. I know. I know.
Artists attack girl in 'the void'
Three male artists attacked
Dawn Pendergast in front of a schoolyard two blocks from her Bushwick
apartment last night. She escaped uninjured, save a few bruises
on her legs and face, ' Like that William Carlos Williams poem'
she says 'Wherever /his hand has lain there is / a tiny purple
blemish.'
Ms. Pendergast did not
request an ambulance for said 'tiny purple blemishes,' nor could
she offer police a firm ID of the artists/attackers.
'They ran up from behind
me in nihilist costumes' said Ms. Pendergast. The blow to the
back of her head did not leave her unconscious. 'I screamed bloody
murder and they ran away.' This incident reflects the growing
concern for public safety and artistic integrity in what Time
Out has named the 'up-and-coming art hotspot.'
'I blame The Gay
Science,' Ms. Pendergast continues, 'There are too many young
artists out there misreading Nietzsche. The situation is getting
dangerous.'
Bushwick Avenue, commonly
referred to as 'the Void,' has recently been a melting pot of
philosophical idealism and experimental performance. Graduates
of many expensive New York City art schools have flocked to the
area, drawn to the low rent and growing reputation for lackadaisical
'edginess'.
'It seemed like the
perfect place to finish Starfish: The Bottom-dwellers Project
©' ex-resident, Montrose L. Train, told us. His photographs
and videos, now exhibited in Soho's New Museum, feature the anuses
of many Bushwick residents (admission $10, please call New Museum
for details). Train's work serves as a nostalgic reminder of the
neighborhood in its prime of philosophical relativism and embodied
performance.
But 'more and more kids
are just making bad art' a current resident complains. 'These
performance acts, like the attack on Ms. Pendergast, fail to capture
the Acconci-esque interrogation of art and life. The attempted
burglary doesn't even offer a new critique of capitalist-driven
materialism.'
But Ms. Pendergast is not taking this
attack lying down. 'We've got to fight this thing with everything
that we've got.' She hopes to use the incident in a growing campaign
to get more philosophy and art education in primary schools. 'Ever
since God died, young artists haven't had a leg to stand on,'
she explains. 'We need to nip this thing in the bud, before people
start misinterpreting-God forbid-French
philosophy too.' Ms. Pendergast's new show, Epithelium, will be playing at HERE's American Living Room Festival
on July 24th and 25th(admission $10, please
visit www.here.org for details).
Jump v. Slang. To spring upon in sudden attack;
assault or ambush: Ex: Muggers jumped him in the park.
So here's the
deal. I was walking home last night at 2 in the morning (because
I'm too goddamn cheap to get a cab) and 3 men (about 18-22 years
old) ran up from behind me. One of them hit me on the back of
the head. I fell to the ground and started screaming. They ran
away. I'm fine. Just scared to death. I feel really stupid.